Fatherhood Changed

Fatherhood Changed Me

Fatherhood changed me in ways I never could have imagined, and it continues to teach me profound lessons in humility. Before she came into my life, I was engulfed in the fog of toxic masculinity, shaped by arrogant, selfish views I didn’t even recognize as toxic. I tried to fix it, believing the problem lay in the “camera” of my life—thinking it was a simple functionality issue like the lens had just been dropped too many times.

But it wasn’t until I looked through the lens with a more critical eye that I realized it had been cracked, worn down, shattered—fogged up with a permanent haze that clouded my vision. The beauty of life, once clear, became distorted. I couldn’t see the bright blue sky or the endless orange horizon at sunset.

This once pure lens, which should have captured moments of true beauty, now struggled to see the world in its truest form. It should have recorded the essence of a father kissing his son goodnight before watching him go off to school, or the soft glow of a mother-to-be, radiating in the final moments before bringing new life into the world. From agony to beauty, life was meant to be seen through clearer eyes.

Then she came—my daughter. In an instant, I was transported back to my childhood, to a five-year-old boy in Philly reaching out for his mother, asking for one more serving of pork sausages. Time, in that moment, lost its meaning. Hate became a grain of sand washed away by the ocean of love.

The moment I held her in my arms for the first time, I took in life fully, for the very first time. My failures became the foundation for my success, my doubts dissolved into faith, and my fears were washed away by a surge of courage. In that instant, I could taste love. Not just smell it or feel it—but taste it. The sensation was as real as the breath I took.

My palate refined. I no longer craved the "bad food" of life. I yearned for nourishment—organically grown, hormone-free, and pure—because I knew I was about to run marathons, not for just one season, but for the rest of my life.

She overwhelmed me with the kind of love that transcends. That agape love that redefined everything. In her, I found my purpose. I finally understood why I was here. Fatherhood changed me.

- Malik K. Murray